I taught my first yoga class last weekend. And by first, I mean my first class in a studio that was on the actual schedule (vs. just teaching for practice in my apartment). Guys… it was fucking magic. Let me just say that seeing everyone in Savasana at the end is really moving. I had this moment while looking out at everyone snuggled under their blankets and thought with a sigh, I did this. I fucking did this. They all looked so cozy and peaceful, and some of them were even lightly touching their neighbor (a friend/significant other). The room just felt so full of love.
Ratchet is just the derpiest.
I chose to set the intention for the class, and tried my best to touch on it throughout class. The intention was, “I am enough.” It was in reference to the fact that society (or sometimes our friends and family) often make us feel as though we need to be more or less of who we really are (thinner, younger, smarter, less sensitive, quieter, more successful, etc). But fuck that – we are enough just as we are. At the end of class – during the last few minutes of Savasana, I read a quote aloud by Daniell Koepke, which one of my teachers shared during a class several months ago. It resonated with me so deeply that I asked her to send it to me. I chose it for my first class both because it speaks to who I am, and also as a nod to her, and how much she has impacted my life.
“Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Less me. Because I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, I suffered. But I’m tired of suffering, and I’m done shrinking. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. And with or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and speak my truth. Even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse to shrink. I choose to take up space. I choose to honor my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met. I choose to make self care a priority. I choose me.”
Doesn’t that quote just make you want to go out and chase your fucking dreams? Seriously. It gives me chills, it’s so good. When I first heard that quote in class, I carried it with me for a long time after. It worked it’s way into my life, and was one of many things that allowed me to have the courage to become who I wanted to be – my most authentic self. All I want to do is teach that to others.
Fuck, these blog posts have been getting intense lately, haven’t they?! Bear with me on this. I’m transitioning right now, and it’s fucking hard. The lightheartedness will return.
Boudreaux had to delicately taste it first, and then chomped it right down! He will be deeply missed.
I made these dog treats to say goodbye to one of my favorite dogs in the whole world. His owner is moving across the country, and unfortunately, the dog needs to make the move with him. Sometimes you have to say goodbye to people (and dogs) that you care about, and it fucking sucks. But not everyone in your life is meant to stick around the whole time. Sometimes they’re just around long enough to give you a little push, and then fucking change your whole life. It can be hard to let go of that sometimes… but that just means they were worth knowing. Also, he(the human, not the dog) taught me how to do this:
Which is not only super badass for all the obvious reasons, but also really body positive for me. I mean, look at my adorable belly in this! It’s so squishy and cute!
Dog Treat Muffins (original recipe found here)
1 egg (or, in my case, 1 flax egg!)
1/4 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup coconut oil
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/3 cup honey
1 cup shredded carrots
1 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl, folding in the carrots last. Scoop into muffin tins and bake at 350 degrees for about 35 minutes. Feed to all your favorite furry friends. These are actually pretty good, and acceptable human snacks, too.
This also makes an adorable birthday cake for dogs! Just bake them in 4″ round cake pans and layer with peanut butter, then top with peanut butter and shredded carrots! It looks something like this:
This is Rabbit. He’s so pissed we made him pose for a picture before getting to eat the cake.