I haven’t been able to blog lately for many reasons. With everything going on in our country (and in my city especially), all the shootings and violence… it just didn’t seem important to write a silly blog about food. It felt disrespectful. I live in Minneapolis, and my city has been hit especially hard lately. You can feel the tension in the air. It’s heartbreaking and mentally exhausting for me (but nothing compared to how other people are affected by it). The feeling of helplessness is very real right now. I know I’m not alone in that. The only thing I’ve found that helps is to talk about it… to stop pretending it’s not happening… to stay connected, and to support each other. My friend sent me a link to wonderful resources for those that want to learn more – find it here.
Another reason for my lack of writing is the fact that I’m in the middle of a big transition right now. After months of ignoring my emotions surrounding my divorce, I’m suddenly hitting them head on. It’s confusing and lonely, but will ultimately result in a lot of self growth (hopefully). I’ve been dealing with a ton of anxiety lately, which I think stems from the divorce, but I’m not entirely sure (anxiety never likes to explain itself). It’s making me feel like I need to move into a new apartment, or even a new city (I won’t), and just causing an overwhelming feeling of restlessness and unease. The best (but temporary) remedy for this to is go for a walk outside, preferably with a friend. If you get random texts from me asking to go for a walk right now… it’s because I’m overflowing with anxiety, and I need help. My friends have been really amazing about responding and connecting with me when I’m feeling like that, and I deeply appreciate it.
As most of you know, I’ve also been in Yoga Teacher Training for 18 hours every weekend this month. It is both physically and mentally exhausting, but is definitely one of the best (and hardest) things I’ve ever done for myself. On top of those 18 hours, I’m also spending time practicing both my teaching and my physical practice every single day. I went into this training fully expecting to be terrible, but knowing I would love it anyway. Turns out I not only love it, but I’m not so terrible. I mean, I’m definitely still learning and figuring it all out, but it’s not as scary as I thought it’d be. It really feels like this is what I should be doing. My teachers have been amazing, inspiring, and encouraging. I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. But that doesn’t change the fact that this is really fucking hard. And I’m really fucking tired.
Seriously, this is my life.
This combination of things has led to a not so healthy diet, and a serious lack of energy. I’ve been eating an obscene amount of boxed mac and cheese. In my defense, I often mix in some Garbanzo beans to add a little extra protein. I’ve also been ordering a lot of pizza. For some reason, I got a magical “free pizza” coupon in the mail the other day. I have no idea what I did to have this wonderful gift bestowed upon me by the universe, but there it was… all unassuming in my mailbox. I almost threw it out, thinking it was junk mail. The only downside is that the coupon only allows for 2 toppings. I’m a topping junkie… I get nearly every non-meat topping possible, plus triple mushrooms and extra cheese. I mean, duh. Who doesn’t do that?
Is the coupon fairy real?
Somehow, though I’m hardly cooking at all, I’ve still managed to dirty nearly every dish in my apartment. I don’t have the energy to wash them, so I posted a status on Facebook the other day offering to pay someone in baked goods to clean for me. Everyone thought it was a joke, so I still have a sink full of dirty dishes, and my shower is still full of mold. WTF. Seriously… I will pay someone $10 to clean my kitchen for me. That’s all I can afford. The struggle is fucking real, guys.
If you haven’t realized it yet, there’s no recipe in this post. I physically and mentally cannot cook right now. I won’t do it. You can’t make me.
How to Order Pizza
- Call your local pizza dealer (or pull up their website).
- Tell them what you want on your pizza (mushrooms and jalapenos).
- Splurge for garlic dipping sauce.
- Pay the delivery person, and tip well.
- Shove pizza into face.
This blog post is dedicated to Hannah, who hates to cook.