I went swimsuit shopping today. I walked in there with all this confidence… and was immediately put in my place. First of all, why is it so fucking difficult to get something in my size that isn’t fucking disgusting? I’m tired of hiding under skirts and extra layers to hide my thighs and hold my belly in. It’s exhausting. I just want to wear a swimsuit that is comfortable, and cute. Is that so much to fucking ask?
First, I tried a little online shopping at Aerie. They are my go to source for the best underwear, and they refuse to photoshop their models. Plus! They just signed a plus size model to model their standard size clothing. This is a big deal, guys. Anyway, I thought for sure I’d find something on their website.
I am a naive person. Or maybe just a little dumb. Maybe both. Who knows?
Those fuckers didn’t even have my size at all. Apparently, my boobs are too big to be contained by Aerie.
So I went to Target today. I buy lots of clothing at Target, and can always shop their standard size section (I’m one of those people that can shop in both plus size and standard size… usually). So I walk in, and am overwhelmed by all the options right inside the front door. There are stripes and polka dots, bikinis with cute bows and ruffles, one pieces with these cool sheer stripes, all covering 2 huge walls, plus several racks in the middle of the floor. I went digging, highly optimistic.
Sigh. I’m just so naive.
NOTHING FUCKING FIT.
You want to know how many options they had in their plus size section? There was one rack, and everything on it was a variation of the same black, skirted, one piece. God forbid someone see my upper thighs!
Swimsuit skirts can fuck off. I don’t need to hide behind you anymore!
I like to think I’m bold enough to wear a bikini, and just tell everyone to fuck right off. Clearly, the clothing industry has other ideas.
Fuck you, society. Stop body shaming me.
Also, put some fucking underwire in those swimsuits! WTF?
PB & J + Potato Chips
2 pieces of white bread
Jam of choice (I chose my fancy homemade plum jam, but you do you)
Assemble sandwich in obvious manner. Then smoosh the sandwich a little bit to crush the chips a bit. Shove in your mouth with extra potato chips.
I think this is the best thing that’s ever happened to my mouth.